


Write What You Know

by tillyenna



Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: Crack Taken Seriously, Getting Together, M/M, No Fourth Wall
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-13
Updated: 2020-11-13
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:28:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,244
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27546097
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tillyenna/pseuds/tillyenna
Summary: So, when doing research into top pairings for each player, and one of the top four pairings for Jonny was Jonny/Kristen StewartAnd that got me thinking... who do we know that is both a huge fan of the twilight franchise and a huge fan of Jonathan Toews...That's right.... Peeksy.So this fic is what might happen if it turned out that Patrick wrote the Kristen/Jonny slash
Relationships: Patrick Kane/Jonathan Toews
Comments: 11
Kudos: 63





	Write What You Know

**Author's Note:**

> This is just ridiculous. I'm not even sorry.

Patrick’s really engrossed, and that’s his excuse, but when he hears Jonny ask “What’cha doing?” from where the adjoining door between their rooms is open he slams the lid of his laptop down so fast he damn near traps his fingers.

Of course Jonny laughs, because he’s an asshole. “Dude,” he snorts, “If I’d thought you were watching porn I’d have left you to it, it was just because of the” he mimes typing.

Patrick shrugs, Jonny can think what he wants, as long as he doesn’t find out the truth.

“You writing love letters?” Jonny asks with a smirk.

“Did you actually want something?” Patrick asks, sniping as usual to get away from the fact that Jonny’s skirting dangerously close to the truth.

“Well I had wanted to hang out with my favourite winger.”

“But Sharpy’s busy so you thought you’d come bother me instead?” Patrick intercepts the chirp.

“I was going to say obviously you seem busy, but yeah, wanna watch something.”

Patrick hesitates, because on one hand, he was on a roll, and stopping writing when you’re on a roll is always hellish, and he doesn’t know when he’ll be able to get back into it – on the other hand, he’s never been able to say no to Jonny. “Give me a couple of moments to clear my browser history and I’ll cue something up for us.”

“You’re a gem Peeks,” Jonny grins, “I’ll grab snacks.”

The thing is, Patrick discovered RPF entirely accidentally – he’d started reading a bunch of twilight fanfiction, because honestly, the books are better than the movies, and there isn’t enough content of the books, and he needed more, same reason anyone gets into fanfic really. From there, it had been a slippery slope into RPF, because the movies might be shit, but anyone who gives Kristen Stewart a hard time needs to fuck off in Patrick’s opinion, she’s hot, and she plays Bella EXACTLY as she’s written in the books – that’s acting talent despite what everyone else says.

He’d thought at first that maybe RPF was an actor people thing, but he pretty quickly discovered that no, it’s a famous people thing and there is definitely stuff written about him. He feels pretty uncomfortable reading Patrick Kane/Reader stuff, mostly because if he is the reader, that then makes it Patrick Kane/Patrick Kane which is something he’s also read, and been weirded out by.

Writing RPF was another slippery slope, mostly he’d started by mentally critiquing some of the twilight stuff he’d read, and from there, he ended up wondering just how hard it could be. Turns out, it’s pretty hard – he prefers writing RPF because he doesn’t have to think about wolves and vampires and stuff when he’s writing, makes it more confusing, and he gets why people would write Hockey RPF, because that would be a lot easier because he knows a lot about hockey.

He starts of shipping Kristen Stewart with her co-stars, but honestly, they don’t do it for him, and he finds himself mulling over the fact that Kristen needs someone special for him to ship her with, someone who can alternate between scrupulously polite, but would also be a bit of an asshole in the bedroom (Patrick is very aware of his own kinks thank you very much), he tries writing something that just ships her with a tall dark handsome OC… and realises halfway through that he knows exactly who he’s writing about. And if actor RPF exists and sports RPF exists there’s no reason why he can’t combine the two.

Except for the reason of his teammate swanning into his hotel room while he’s in the middle of writing a sex scene about said teammate holding down Kristen Stewart by the hips while he eats her out until she screams.

“But for real,” Jonny settles into the bed beside him, barely paying any attention to the next episode of GG that Patrick’s cued up, “What were you doing?”

“Nope.” Patrick shakes his head, “The chirps aren’t worth it.”

Jonny just huffs and tunes into what Blair is saying. Patrick should know not to leave it, Patrick should know that Jonny never just leaves something, can never stand being the one left out on a secret, but Patrick’s weak for trusting Jonny, so he lets it slide.

Until he gets back to yet another anonymous hotel room a couple of weeks later to find Jonny in front of his laptop, mouth agape.

“What the fuck?” He screeches, trying to snatch the laptop off him.

“Peeks!” Jonny grabs it back, “Where the fuck did you find this shit?”

Patrick shrugs, he can tell that Jonny’s opened one of the word docs with his unpublished stuff in it. “I wrote it.” He admits mulishly, it’s not like it’s worth hiding at this point, saying he found it online would beg questions as to why he’d saved it like that.

“Fuck.” Jonny doesn’t like pissed, in fact, he almost looks impressed, “Peeks, this is fucking hot.”

Patrick frowns, “erm, what?”

“Like, I figured you had game or whatever, because otherwise how the hell would you pick up with a face like yours, but fuck.” Jonny’s eyes are stilled glued to the screen, “Does this actually work, like, you’ve done this yeah?”

“Jon,” Patrick says carefully, “I don’t know which one you’re reading.”

Jonny squeaks, “There’s more than one?” His grin is clearly delighted, “I’m currently reading about me ass fucking Kristen Stewart while I’m fingering her pussy too.”

“I mean,” Kaner shrugs, “It’s like skating and stick control at the same time, do it enough and it’s second nature.”

“I worry about you Peeks,” Jonny says fondly, clicking through to another tab, then he frowns, “No, I worry about me, because apparently my sex life is very vanilla compared to yours.”

“So, you’re ok with me writing this?” Patrick asks, before his brain can catch up with his mouth.

“Peeks, this shit is gold.” Jonny grins at him, “I’m amazed you’re good at stuff that isn’t hockey and getting drunk, but yeah, this shit is pretty good.”

“Oh.” Patrick sits down numbly beside him, “Thanks, I guess?”

“Wait,” Jonny says, scrolling to the end of the page, “Why isn’t this one finished?”

“You interrupted me, asshole.” Patrick grins, making grabby hands for his laptop.

“I’ll go make you coffee,” Jonny hands the laptop over, “Let me read it when you’re done.”

It’s kind of weird, Jonny sitting there watching him write, but he’s had the next bit of his fic buzzing around in his head for the past few days, and not a lot of opportunity to get in front of his laptop without nosy teammates around, so he sits down and starts bashing out the next few hundered words. When he looks up, Jonny is staring at him, hands wrapped around a mug of coffee. “Can I help you?”

Jonny stares at him for a moment, before blurting out, “Why me?”

Patrick feels his pulse speed up, he doesn’t want to answer that question, so he side steps it, “What do you mean?”

“Like, surely the logical person for her to be sleeping with is one of her co-stars, RPats or…” Jonny falters and waves his hand around “The other one.”

“Taylor Lautner,” Patrick tells him, “And I used to write them, it’s just they’re both…” he shrugs, “I don’t know, didn’t fit the kind of aesthetic I was going for.”

“And I do?” Jonny asks, a smirk on his face.

“Oh for sure,” Patrick answers, a grin on his own face, “I was looking for a cocky arrogant asshole who thinks far too highly of himself.”

“And you didn’t think any of the actor types could have pulled that off?”

“Hey!” Patrick objects, “Pattinson is awesome, and he’s a really sweet guy, nothing like you, asshole.” He shrugs, “Besides, I wanted someone who’d be strong enough to throw her around.”

“And you just picked me.” Jonny carries on needling.

“I spend every day with you asshole.” Patrick laughs, “It was easier to write you than to have to invent someone.”

“Oh.” Jonny says, finally accepting the answer, but there’s a look on his face that Patrick can’t quite place.

“Why do you ask?”

Jonny shrugs.

Patrick takes a stab in the dark, “You were looking for a fucking ego boost weren’t you.” He laughs, “I’m not inflating that already overly large head of yours Taze.”

“That’s not it.” Jonny objects, “I just thought maybe…” he flushes, staring at the ground, “maybe you’d picked me because you thought I was hot.”

The way he phrases it, the quiet way he asks the question means that Patrick doesn’t answer with a chirp. He takes a moment, to sit and breathe, to wonder how to get where he wants to go with this. “Do you want me to think you’re hot?” He asks carefully.

Jonny shrugs, “Obviously,” he flashes Patrick a grin, but then is quiet again, “I mean, like, it’s always nice when people think you’re hot.”

“Oh.” Patricks the quiet one now, and he doesn’t want to say anything further, but it’s like his mouth speaks without his permission, “So not me specifically then.”

Jonny makes a strangled sounding noise, and moves over so he’s sat next to Patrick on the double bed, “Well actually…” he nudges him with his shoulder, “Sort of yes, you specifically.”

Patrick can’t bring himself to look at Jonny, “Why would you want me to find you hot, why would you want me specifically to think that.”

“Well,” Jonny says quietly, reaching out and laying his hand on Patrick’s where it’s lying limp and useless on the keyboard of his laptop, “It would be kind of cool if my feelings were requited after all this time.”

Patrick whips his head round to finally stare at Jonny, searching for some kind of teasing or joking in his gaze and amazed when he doesn’t find any. “Are you serious Taze?”

“I’ve always thought you were cute Peeks.” Jonny says, a small smile tugging at his lips, “That’s why the boys are always teasing me about my ‘fond eyes’.”

Patrick can feel himself blushing, “I’m not the cute one here Taze,” he flips his hand over underneath Jonny’s, so he can link their fingers together.

“Are we really doing this?” Jonny asks him.

Patrick shrugs, “I mean, yes?” He asks hopefully, and then, feeling bold for a moment, leans across and presses a kiss to Jonny’s lips.

Jonny moans softly, and reaches around to thread his hand through Patrick’s curls, pulling him towards him and deepening the kiss.

“Fuck,” Patrick swears softly, twisting around to lean into Jonny, making his laptop fall off his lap and onto the bed beside him.

“Peeks,” Jonny whispers breathlessly, tugging one of Patrick’s legs to pull him down the bed so he can roll on top of him, propped up on his elbows, lowering his head to press soft kisses to the column of Patrick’s neck.

“God Jonny,” Patrick can’t work out where to put his hands, sliding them up and down Jonny’s sides, desperate to touch all of them. Then he’s struck by a sudden bolt of inspiration and reaches down to cup Jonny’s generous ass with both hands, pulling their bodies that bit closer together.

Jonny rocks desperately against him, “I’ve wanted you for so fucking long Peeksy,” he tells him, pressing kisses to every available bit of skin he can reach.

“You’re not the only one.” Patrick answers, before wriggling his hands inside Jonny’s sweats to grab at the bare skin of his ass.

“Huh,” Jonny says thoughtfully, “Kristen totally did that in your fic…” he looks down at Patrick before he squawks delightedly, “Oh my God, you’re totally Kristen Stewart here!”

“Fuck off,” Patrick tries to shove Jonny off him, failing miserably because Jonny is bigger and stronger than him.

“Hey Peeks,” Jonny leans down to whisper in his ear, “Did you want me to throw you around?”

Patrick knows it’s meant as a chirp, which is why he desperately tries to supress the shiver that goes down his body, “Fuck off Taze,” he answers breathlessly.

“Oh my God,” Jonny grins, “You totally do!” He flops onto his back, and then reaches out to grab Patrick and hauls him bodily on top of him, “You do and you love this.”

“You’re an arrogant asshole.” Patrick tells him.

Jonny just hums, and pulls him in for another kiss, “I’m beginning to think you’re into that.”

Later, when it’s dark and they’re wrapped around each other, quiet and content, Jonny softly asks, “Do people write fiction about us having sex?”

“Yep,” Patrick answers.

“You ever read any?”

“No!” Patrick blushes, burying his face in Jonny’s neck, “I couldn’t, it’s too…” he can admit this now, “I wanted it too much.”

“We should find some,” Jonny laughs, “See how accurate it is.”

Patrick laughs with him, “I should write some,” He answers, “Then it would be the most accurate.”

“Nah,” Jonny presses a kiss to his forehead, “I want you to keep writing me and Kristen.” He rubs his thumb against Patrick’s waist, “You think she’d be cute with a strap on.”

Patrick groans, and reaches over the side of the bed to grab his laptop from where they’d put it on the floor.

“What right now?” Jonny asks.

“Hey, when the idea strikes, you’ve just got to go for it.”


End file.
